I've been reading a paperback version of Walden and Civil Disobedience from Thoreau to my children for bedtime the last few weeks. Make your own assumptions why I would put my children through this, even though it tends to have the same effect on me - sleep. Tonight, however, I did stumble on a passage I felt inspired to start this post with:
We would be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring. In a pleasant morning all men's sins are forgiven. Such a day is a truce to vice.
He is right. Today is what matters and no matter what got you to where you are today, good or bad in your art career - you are what you are today because of it. The true lesson is perspective. I got in trouble when I was 9 years old, playing with my friends a few days after the 4th of July. We found some old fireworks from a display that didn't go off that night and we attempted to light them ourselves. One thing led to another and a small fire started. We thought it was out but it wasn't. The next thing I noticed was a huge black cloud when I was at the other end of town. As I pulled up to the property, I watched a garage, two cars, a side of a house and more up in flames because of a mistake I made as a child. I had my rights read to me at my kitchen table in front of my mother, went to court and received a year of probation for it even though it was just an accident. When they took us to the juvenile detention center and threatened us that anything else ever happened we'd be locked up I thought my life was over. From that point on I spent every summer, weekend, holiday and break working with my father in his construction business. I hated it at first and watched my childhood disappear before me. In a few years I was building homes with him and doing much more than carrying wood and garbage. By my late teens I was an accomplished carpenter helper and by the time college was over I was a full time carpenter laying out and framing out multi-million dollar condos in Florida. When I went into my profession as an artist in the mid 90s I bought an 1865 Victorian home and began a project I'm still working on to this day. Since then I've been featured in Victorian Homes, Old House Journal and numerous papers and publications regionally even being cited as an expert in certain areas with over 28 years of experience under my belt. Would I have been able to do that had I not made that mistake as a child? In retrospect I would not have the work ethic I do today as an artist had I not spent all of those years with my father (who was also a workaholic.) I could have spent my life strung out on drugs and crying that my life didn't work out, but I know with all of my heart it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
To tie all of this together you have to look back into your own life to find what you think may have disadvantaged you and you will find what makes you truly unique. It is perspective in mind, spirit and body. You have to approach who you are in a positive mindset and you will quickly understand who you are. I am a kid from a coal mining town. My parents were college educated but not artistic. I never had art lessons and I painted my first oil painting at the age of 20. I went to a state school and never visited an art museum until I was 18! I used to look at these things and think how disadvantaged I was compared to artists that studied in NY or CA or had artistic families or environments. Me, I went to church every Sunday in cathedrals filled with beautiful murals, statuary and stained glass. Years later I realized I had an art lesson once a week from birth. My influences are different than the norm in today's classical figurative genre and my artwork today reflects that. Look at yourself. You are a unique individual. The only thing you can do is to live in the present and be happy with who you are. If you are searching for what your identity is, you will soon find it by living in this mindset. Today is what matters.
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